How do you not get Jealous?

I wish I was like chantelle she is so right about being jealous it will destroy you , your relationship, and what ever else it can . I am trying to work on my feelings at the moment and hope I come out the other end a lot better.

Brilliantly articulated, and completely accurate also. A lot of people could learn a lot from this. If there is a basis for Swinging 101 - this would be it. In fact, it goes beyond that - it should be the basis for relationships in general....

So very true and makes a lot of sense to us. Granted it’s not for everyone but it comes back to the caged bird analogy. You can lock a bird in a cage it’s whole life but the moment you open the door and it comes back then it’s truly yours. Humans are not designed to be monogamous, the statistics will tell you that. Most of the problem is the male attitude and the lack of self confidence. Someone always has a bigger or better something. Have fun and enjoy this short life we have all been granted

I love this article - thank you for sharing x

It's impossible not too..Human nature,Your kidding yourself if you say you don't get jelouse.

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  Bigslugz

  More than a month ago

  Not true. We have an awesome relationship. Never any jealously. Don't tar everyone with the same brush

This is a fantastic eye opener for me and I realise I am a jealous person in my current relationship. We have swung and played solo, open and after going through the alphabet of possible scenario of sexual choices we have realised what suited us was to explore cuckolding. I get my needs meet and my partner his. Point is jealousy is a natural reaction to different situations be it wrong or right but to figure out the way around it or support the person or use it in a positive manor is the key. Only took us 4 years to finally get it right for both of us. Lol

Jealousy is hard work tried it once didn't like it, now I'm rather flirtatious and a few of my partners couldn't handle that but I couldn't change that about myself I enjoy making other people feel good about themselves. I did find someone with a same thinking as means that was if I didn't want to be with you I would say so, trust honesty and questions and a healthy dose of curiosity. Rather than getting jealous if someone made my partner cum harder than she ever has I was curious on how

IMHO it's insecurity about one's own body and traits that leads to jealousy and LOUSY sex. It ultimately destroys the relationship. We've all seen little Miss 'don't look at my stretch marks' or 'I'm too fat to wear that'! Not to mention Mr insecure who gets a hot girlfriend then won't let her wear anything that will draw another man's attention.

Thank you for sharing
Really enjoyed your article

Years ago I dated a guy in an open marriage. For me I guess I thought initially we were having an affair but when he took me home to his place after work one night and openly took a call from his partner and said that I was staying over it became clear that I would only ever be his second, not his first. He said that as long as he always went home to her he was allowed as much freedom as he wanted. I do treasure the time I had with him as I feel in another lifetime we would have been soulmates and, knowing what I know now, I also would have given him his freedom.

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  Fuckudeep129

  More than a month ago

  I understand where you're coming from, and I'm thinking i wouldn't go their, but on the other hand if it's a mutual understanding and agreeable, well each to their own

Even in this lifestyle and even in open relationships we have all felt jealous at some point, and we have all probably been the subject of jealousy by our partners and others, whether we know it or not.
It might not be logical, but it's a normal human feeling. Respect it.
For me, what helps slay the green-eyed monster is talk and constant reassurance. I treasured a message from a lover who told me she was seeing someone else that afternoon "but don't worry, I'm yours".
Give your partner what they need!
And respect other people's relationships. I always make it crystal clear to my playmates, and their partners, that I am not here to steal the girl. I am just the entertainment, and they can throw me back in the pond any time they like :)

Great topic..
Thats why I prefer being a single..woman
So that I dont have to be jealous
Noone own anybody ..life is fun ..lets enjoy it while we can..

I’ve had a history of unfaithful partners, before I was in the lifestyle. There were some twinges of jealousy on my part, but the majority of jealousy in those relationships came from them.. I assume because they were projecting their unfaithfulness on me, accusing me of being unfaithful to them.

Coming into the lifestyle I’ve learned a lot about myself as a person. Learned what it is to share not only myself, but also with someone who wants me to enjoy what makes me happy also. I was content with playmates but have now found someone who wants the same as I do, in a relationship. I couldn’t be happier, and look forward to how our lives develop together without jealousy being an issue. Awesome article as always.

Good article for lots to read, this is how we run our partnership/ relationship. We are not married either but together nearly 27 years and swinging for 7. Its so true about being grateful and thankful and also about respect and happiness for the others desires. So true about the “ i dont own you”attitude , thats how we go about our lives.

Oh boy yes! I used to have a jealous streak - until I realised my partner was there for me first and last. It was an emotional "growing up" moment, and so liberating to let go of that nasty negative emotion.

Oddly at the weekend we had a moment where HE got jealous of me. It was soon over when we talked about it but it felt horrible to be on the end of that suspicion. Made me realise what damage it can do if left to fester.

Talk is important. Talk about sex, talk about emotions. It may be hard and take a few tries but it places the relationship on a totally different plane.

Loved reading your blog and description of how to accept each others reasoning regarding openness and controlling your jealousy......In real life, it takes two special people to relate openly to each other and get to that level of trust and freedom. There is always doubt in each others minds as to "what if".
I am a very positive person and would love to have the freedom of a polyamorous relationship and I was told by my partner that because I pleasured her in every sense of the word, she didn't need to be with anyone else.....and I certainly don't want to go behind her back. Watch this space.....

Love it and so true. It’s wonderful to see the man you adore doing all that.