How to find a fuck buddy for girls who like girls

Sexy woman with red lace lingerie and tattoos carrying champagne glasses into the bedroom

They say that diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but if you ask me, I’d rather have a reliable queer fuck buddy over a sparkly rock any day.

Having a fuck buddy, or a few friends with benefits, is an invaluable way to explore your sexuality with likeminded women, and enjoy hot and steamy queer casual sex without the strings.

However, if you’re brand spankin’ new to the world of cruising women for sex, it can be a confusing and overwhelming time. Where do you find babes who are just up for some no-feelings girl-on-girl fun? How do you flirt with a woman without sounding like a creep? And ultimately how do you turn a “hello” into a string of casual hot sex dates?

Here are a few of my tried and true methods for finding a fuck buddy, for lesbian, queer and bi babes.

Confidence is key

In my experience, nothing makes a queer woman moister than an oyster than someone who is confident in her own skin. Confidence is universally attractive, and the reality is that most of us are more likely to be drawn to someone who is confident, over someone who is needy, nervous or insecure.

Sure, being a little shy is cute up to a point, but put it this way: if someone is trying to tentatively hit on me, it’s a red flag because it tells me two things. One, that they are only tentatively interested, and two, it makes me nervous that they might only tentatively eat my pussy. Neither of which is a panty-dropper. Game over. Whereas if a woman approaches me with a sense of confidence, ease and she is direct (or at least I’m well aware she knows what’s up), I’m not only going to be intrigued, my panties will probably also disintegrate.

But seriously, often a lack of confidence in these situations stems from a lack of experience. Remember that we all had to start somewhere, and that your level (or lack) of experience has nothing to do with how lesbian, bisexual or queer you are. 

Take the initiative

Want action? Then you have to take action.

Cruising women involves a level of initiative and assertiveness that just simply is not required in 99% of heteronormative hook-ups (in my experience). So if you want to find a lesbian, bisexual or queer fuck buddy, get used to the fact that you’re probably going to have to be the one to make the first move. Don’t worry, it gets easier. My point is, sitting back and waiting for an orderly fuck buddy queue to form outside your house is likely to only lead to disappointment.

So what does taking initiative look like? We’ve already established that you need some confidence, now you need to get yourself some game. The next time you see that hot barista who you swear winks at you, or a gorgeous babe approaches you on Adult Match Maker, challenge yourself to really put yourself out there. Flirt, make eye contact, compliment her and start conversations about things she’s expressed interest in. Be upfront, direct and devilishly flirtacious, but don’t be pushy.

Pro tip: while I would recommend most men avoid pick-up lines, a well-timed cheesy pick-up line can be a cute icebreaker when delivered by a cute queer with a cheeky smile. 

Online dating is your wingwoman

With lesbian bars mostly a thing of the past, and queer parties for women a rarity (even more so thanks to the pandemic), online adult dating sites like Adult Match Maker are by far the most reliable and easiest option when it comes to women looking for sex and finding lesbian, bi and queer fuckbuddies and friends with benefits.

Not only is using Adult Match Maker a great way to practice flirting from behind the safety of a keyboard instead of getting tongue tied in front of the queer woman of your dreams in real life (save that for later), it also takes the guesswork out the situation. Her profile is likely to tell you her sexuality, her relationship status, what she’s looking for and what floats her boat.

However, before you start cruising for women online, make sure your Adult Match Maker dating profile is up to date and reflects where you are at and what you are looking for. Be open and clear about what you’re looking for and you’re more likely to find a woman who’s on the same page.


  • Tormenta


    More than a month ago

    Great advice! So many queer women struggle with making the first move. Being upfront and honest is always sexy ;)

  • Notsonewnow


    More than a month ago

    I never realised I liked females sexually until I meet a lady in the changerooms at David Jones while innocently out shopping one day.

  • FuntimeCpl888


    More than a month ago

    The best and Suprizing way i found a fuck buddy was having an old work colleague over for a visit,and while chatting over drinks ,sex talk came up,she said she had always had a fantasy about playing with me,while my hubby was there,well the 3 of us have been fuckbuddies every month for the last 12 months,,

  • Achinglips


    More than a month ago

    Love this and have to say I agree
    I found it easier to initially hook up with hot couples to be with women. From her perspective, she seemed safer more relaxed and keen. That helped me explore and build my own queer confidence

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