Strap-On Sex for Women

Illustration of voluptuous naked woman wearing a colurful strap-on

Illustration by the amazingly talented Amie Wee from heyweeirdo

I love strap-ons. As a lesbian top who loves to have her hands free to wander and explore my partner’s body during sex, I worship at the altar of strap-ons.

Strap-ons are undoubtedly one of the best sex tools to ever exist, yet bizarrely, they’re also one of the most underrated.

There’s a lot to love about strap-ons. They look hot, they feel incredible and they’re extremely versatile when it comes to sex in that they can be used by anyone – any which way – including bend-over-boyfriend pegging fun, double penetration, hollow strap-ons for chastity kinks, self-play, masturbation and they can also worn for gender expression or affirmation. And for lesbian, bisexual and queer women, like myself, incorporating a strap-on into your sex life can be a gamechanger for not only subverting stereotypical gender roles (hot!), but also for opening a lusty labyrinth of doors to new sex positions, power and potential. And who doesn’t love that?

But if you’ve never used a strap-on before, it can be kind of intimidating. How do you pick a harness? What size dick should you pick? How do I ask someone in a chill way if I can insert my strap-on dildo into them? And most importantly, how do I fuck someone confidently with a strap-on without it turning into a comedy of strap-on errors? 

Don’t worry, I got you! Here are four of my hot tips for strapping it on for first timers and staying strap-happy. 

Pick a strap-on that suits your needs

Once upon a time, if you wanted a strap-on, you’d have to go into a sex shop where you would usually be presented with the option of one (or maybe two if you were lucky) dusty, crusty, high-waisted, plastic strap-ons – and that was it.

Thankfully, strap-ons have evolved a lot these days, to the point where it can actually be a bit overwhelming for a first time strapper to know where to start.

In the strap-on strap-osphere you’ll find jockstrap strap-ons made from leather, lace, rubber, rope, vegan leather and neoprene. There are strapless harnesses, double penetration strap-ons, hollow harnesses, under-wear-style strap-ons and g-string harnesses, as well as various styles of strap-ons with dildos and vibrators built in for the wearer. 

Ultimately, you’re going to want to pick a harness that fits like a glove while also making you feel like a sexy beast. 

As a general rule, I recommend start with a traditional jockstrap style harness as these types of strap-ons are perfect for beginners because they’re usually easily adjustable and sturdier for sex than their g-string, underwear or harnessless counterparts. 

Pick A Dick

Obviously no strap-on set up is complete without the perfect dildo.

Another benefit of using a strap-on is that you get to pick your dream dick. Strap-on dildos come in a million sizes, shapes, materials and colours. Some resemble real penises, while others don’t. The type of dildo you pick for your harness is a personal preference, but if you have a partner, I recommend going on a dildo shopping adventure together as they might want a say in what’s going inside them. 

There are generally three things I suggest considering when buying a dildo for your strap-on harness. One: it has to be strap-on compatible in that it must have a flared or flat base (or it’s just going to slip out of your harness). Two: when it comes to size, remember it’s all about the motion of the ocean. Resist the temptation to pick a Mandingo-sized dong and stick with an average-sized dildo instead. Three: it’s important to pick a dildo that’s made from a body-safe material like silicone, glass or aluminium. You want to avoid sex toys are made from porous materials because they can release nasty stinky chemical compounds called phthalates. If the toy doesn’t explicitly say it’s body-safe or made of medical-grade silicone – keep looking.

Find your strap-on confidence

Hang out in your harness before you hang it out in front of somebody else.

The first time I tried on a strap-on was right before I was about to try and use it on someone. I remember sliding the harness over my hips and struggling with the myriad of buckles before taking two steps and tripping over the massive purple dong that was swinging wildly between my legs. 

My advice is to not do that, and instead get to know your harness before you take it out for a ride. Put it on, figure out how it fits best and masturbate with it. Become one with your strap-on!

With that being said, if you have a partner – it can be super fun to get them involved from the get go. Have your partner help you into the harness, jerk off your dildo or eat you inch by inch…

Manage your expectations

When it comes to starting to actually use your harness, don’t put any pressure on yourself. Remember that sex can be awkward sometimes and that’s okay. Learning to fuck like a champion with the aid of a disembodied dildo attached your pelvis is a process…

Start slow and subtle until you get the hang of it, make sure to keep communicating with your lovers during sex, and above all… use tonnes of lube. Happy strap-on sex!

17 comments

  • qick-e

    qick-e

    More than a month ago

    i prefer a nice prostate massage to being pegged

    Reply
  • Profile invisible

    KinkyGirl101

    More than a month ago

    Did you know that Dan Savage ran a competition to name girl on guy strap-on sex and pegging was the winner. Girl on girl strap-on sex is called "sex".

    Reply
  • HOSTINGSUCKA Photo

    HOSTINGSUCKA

    More than a month ago

    Trust me, there are ALOT of straight men out there that love something shoved in their arse - be it a strap on, dildo, vibrator or a real dick. ALOT more than you think.....

    • Holden07 Photo

      Holden07

      More than a month ago

      And they love it alot of married men to lol

    Reply
  • Account closed

    CamQueenB

    More than a month ago

    Pegging aka Strap-on sex is so much fun, I'm not sure why more women aren't into it
    Although I have never done this with another woman I am sure one day I will ;)
    I peg my husband often and he loves it, A lot of people have a misconception that this make your man gay or something and nothing could be further from the truth. Pegging has definitely put a new spark into our marriage and if you're thinking about doing this in your relationship them be sure to be honest with each other and do some research together :) Have fun
    B xoxoxoxoxoxo

    • Account closed

      Account Closed

      More than a month ago

      Yeah I get that and I don’t think men are gay because they enjoy it but it literally wouldn’t turn me on doing that to a guy. I like dominant men in bed and that is rather submissive to me. We are all different huh. Each to their own :)

    • Account closed

      Account Closed

      More than a month ago

      I've never thought of my husband as submissive when we Peg and he sure doesn't act that way at all, we watch a lot of pegging porn together (when we have a pegging session) and we hardly ever see the men as submissive.
      Imagine never having your spot stimulated or being able to reach orgasam? Now imagine your male and your SPOT is in your ass! Now imagine you partner finds it! Or worse... never finds it, That would just suck!
      There is a massive difference for men just cumming as apposed to having orgasam.
      And when you can make you guy shake after sex you know you've done to him what he does to you
      B xoxoxoxoxoxo

    • Holden07 Photo

      Holden07

      More than a month ago

      So would u watch ur man being fucked by a guy i love pegging and i love cock to

    • Account closed

      Account Closed

      More than a month ago

      My husband and I have talked about it, We've discussed having a mfm 3sum where I pegged him first and then trying it. So I guess so but as for now that's just pillow talk.

    Reply
  • Account closed

    MMH3770

    More than a month ago

    I don’t get the whole fuss with strap ons, I’m not a fan of anything ‘ fake ‘, not really into it at all. I’ve sleays found it odd that the lesbians I know of use these yet they dislike actual cock. So everyone wants to be penetrated I guess is all I can conclude from that. Personally I’ve had guys ask would I wear one of these and it’s a firm NO. It would never turn me on to peg a guy, or to use this on another women. I’ll always prefer the ‘ real ‘ deal. Each to their own huh ??

    Reply
  • innocents111

    innocents111

    More than a month ago

    Nothing hotter than a lady taking to me with a strap on! Love it! A must try for all considering or thought about it.

    Reply
  • Holden07 Photo

    Holden07

    More than a month ago

    I love being fucked by a girl with a strap on it is such a turn on chick with a dick love sucking it before they give me a good pegging

    Reply
  • Account closed

    OOBiFemmeOO

    More than a month ago

    i worship at that altar too ... love them

    Reply
  • Stefan1986

    Stefan1986

    More than a month ago

    I didnt read it but I would like to share my opinion. Having a penis is one of the best things to have. I completely understand why a woman would fantazise about having one. The only downside of having a real penis as opposed to a strap on is that its size is unchangeable. If I could upgrade my penis like a woman can her breasts I would do it immediately.

    • Account closed

      Account Closed

      More than a month ago

      Personally I don’t think a strap on would compare yo the real thing. It might work for some women but I’ve no desire to wear one or ever be gone by one. I prefer the ‘ real ‘ deal day in, day out ……,,,

    Reply
  • Account closed

    Easyriderr.

    More than a month ago

    Great read, interesting, funny and enlightening. Now if I can just find a women interested in practising pegging that would be awesome.

    Reply
  • badthoughts63 Photo

    badthoughts63

    More than a month ago

    Would love to be spit roasted by 2 women!

    Reply
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