Let’s Get Loud!

I need to set the scene to begin this post because the topic of loud sex recalled a visit to a swingers club on the Gold Coast. My partner and I were having a conversation with one of the club owners when the high pitched sound of a dog barking started to emanate from across the dance floor. “Don’t worry” said the club owner, “that’s just the Chihuahua coming.” And sure enough if you peered through the crowd there was a lady spread out on the pool table being fucked and the closer she came to having an orgasm - yap yap yap - the louder she got. So let’s get loud!

Do women only vocalise when they orgasm? 

Whilst some do, that’s not the only reason. A study published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour found that 66% of the women surveyed said that they moaned to speed up their partner’s climax, and 87% said they vocalised during sex to boost their partner’s self-esteem. Researchers found most of women’s moans & groans, screams & squeals, even instructional calls such as “faster/harder” during sexual activity are often completely unrelated to their own orgasms. Instead, women vocalise before and during the male partner’s orgasm, and apparently men tend to orgasm faster and harder if their partner is vocal.  

Are the screams during orgasm real?

For many women, yes. But the study also found a further 38% of females surveyed reported that they had pretended vocalisation and this was exclusively linked with faking an orgasm. 

Some blame needs to go to porn and even mainstream films where depictions of a female orgasm involve ecstatic moans and screams of pleasure. We’re fed this information about how we should act in the throes of pleasure. And of course most of us would be familiar with the infamous scene in When Harry Met Sally. Harry doesn’t believe any woman he’s been with has faked an orgasm, so Sally launches into a demonstration while seated at a New York deli which involves some very convincing moans, shouts, table banging and shrieks. On personal note I’ve been to Katz’s Deli and the desire to re-enact that scene was strong! 

Can loud sex improve your sex life?

In her Sex with Emily podcast, Emily Morse PhD said that making noise during sex can lead to enhanced orgasms and more satisfying sex. She said "Research has found that the more noise people make during sex, the less inhibited they are in the bedroom. There is a direct correlation between increasing moans, lowering inhibitions and enhancing arousal. Plus, an authentic moan will naturally open our throats and deepen our breath, which can lead to more powerful orgasms."

Whilst women fantasise more about dirty talk, men apparently fantasise about moaning and screaming. Moaning can signal pleasure and definitely give your partner cues about what you’re enjoying, plus it can boost your partner’s confidence about their performance.  “Think of our sex noises as a form of ‘copulatory communication’ and the most direct way to let our partners know that what they’re doing feels oh-so good," says Dr. Morse. "Nothing says ‘that’s the spot' like an authentic moan of approval, especially in those moments when the blood is rushing away from our head, toward our genitals."

If you’re not sure you can tell a genuine “that feels fucking fantastic” moan from a fake one, check out the Orgasm Sound Library. You can even upload the audio of your own orgasm to share with others.