The Secret to Spotting Fakes and Time Wasters

Hmmmm... Can you set up numerous fake profiles and then they all 'validate/verify' one another?
If so it ain't worth much...
So many fakes...tyre kickers...etc etc...
Life's short...

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  AMM.Editor

  More than a month ago

  Unlike other sites we only allow verified or paid members to validate other members to minimise the risk of this happening.

Just letting everyone know, most of the female profiles on red hot pie are fake.
They send you messages to say so and so has messaged you. Then make you sign up and pay to read the message. Then no further contact from said hot females

Love to have a beer with "Duncan". Don't! The only fake/time waster I ran into, all the rest have been the real deal and lovely guys.

Not always just the couples, we are after a nice guy for the wife but have found most men's profiles not to be true or they're more interested in the pleasure only going their way.

It's never happened with anyone I've met off here.

Everyone was exactly who they portrayed as was I ;)

Why does AMM continue to show profiles on their advertising/banners that are clearly fake: profiles with 2 lines, haven't been on for over a month (yet they joined only a month ago?). Maybe AMM needs to look at their own policies in order to only show genuine profiles as well as encouraging the rest of us to be vigilant.

yes a lot of time wasters, many in love with the fantasy of meeting...especially a Trans person..the reality of meeting us in public will be confronting for many

We all dont enjoy the time wasters or the fake profiles, endless msgs and pic swaps and nothing fun in return. Iam genuine Verified profile but not enough genuine people for real fun, i was expecting much more fun from other genuine people, hopefully improves in time without endless msgs pic swaps and just boring times in return. We are all here for fun and all with different interests but if everyone just respected everyone's profiles and interests iam sure we all would enjoy so much more fun as we are here for the same reasons, lets all be genuine not fakes and time wasters so we can just enjoy alot of fun. Iam sure the genuine profiles people agree to this.

I just got this message, and I have no idea what he means to be honest. I am validated, and verified and meet someone for the first time once a month. I read a great adult site article from Canada last night that says that men outnumber women, which we know and kind of implied that is because the women aren't as much into it, which is what I thought in the first place, so they gave advice how to spot desperate ones looking for attention, not that I don't like some attention. I realised ages ago no man would talk to you just for the sake of it, but yeah maybe some do.

look every time we chat u reply once and I never get a response. . I'm not gonna b a paid member forever look I'm keen to take it further but I don't do endless chat I don't do games or bs and I always reply. . Look I'm a nice guy but it takes to seconds to respond and u no I'm respectful and discreet who cares if I ask for ur number all u can say is no.. and either ur interested not interested or u block me go for being blaintly honest and try to c some one beautiful and just so u no only 3 out of 10 profiles r genuin the rest r just prickly teasers.. and I'm after more than fun ok I'm after friends ok but I don't do hook ups or one nighters ok. . Now don't think I can say any more photos I'm verified r u.. look forward to getting ur number and an actual reply

So genuine means nothing to me, have no idea what people are on about. If you want only people on here that are into sex, start with the chat room. Last night I said something sexy and it was like "shock horror".

Not everyone has had a phone habit and marrieds might not be into phones, or are but a bit picky or worried about who they give it to. I haven't had a habit of calling friends or taking their calls until recently.

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  WeRNorty

  More than a month ago

  @allinmymind
  Well to be blaintly honest there honey, he just needs to up his game!
  Sounds like he could be a bit time-poor or maybe a smaller 4x4.
  OMG, he's like a genuine anti-time waster, in and out real quick (know what I mean)?
  He will be clicking fingers and tapping his foot while you race to close the front door.
  You can do a lot better darling and after you bonk him, please post ok, ok?

Great advice Chantelle.....time wasters drive me bonkers as much as escorts on AMM....I guess it's just the downside of online dating

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  WeRNorty

  More than a month ago

  @lovingthislife
  Exactly! Time wasters are... hang on... BRB...

Got to say that the Validation feature introduced a while ago is fantastic for sorting the sheep from the goats on here!

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  allinmymind

  More than a month ago

  Validation or verification? Didn't know validation is new, that's interesting.
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  WeRNorty

  More than a month ago

  @Leolady727
  What's wrong with goats? Goats can be fun!
  They have cute little goat beards that tickle.
  Sheep, are sooo passive.
  Give me a horny old goat any day.
• 

  AMM.Editor

  More than a month ago

  @allinmymind Adult Match Maker was the first site in Australia to add a Verification feature but our Validation feature was only added in December 2014. We were reluctant at first as we could see fakes validating fakes on other sites which is why we restrict Validations to members who are Verified or have upgraded their membership at some point to maintain the integrity.

I also know people secrets to do with relationships.
And since I am honest I dont tell all that I know and I am not going being nasty and calling names that people are doing to me just letting amm know what is happening with me.

Will my profile is honest and not a fake at all.
That's why I am popular nice friendly enjoys sex and have met a lot of nice people.

I've not been on for quite a while now, as I found my Mr Right on here and are very happily monogamous :-) One thing I found sorted the fakers from the genuine is getting into the chat rooms and viewing people typing, laughing and getting to know each other without this message Ping Pong. Much easier to see people's personalities with that!! Just wish the membership to chat late into the night was a bit less costly. I know there is free time, but with kids around, it isn't easy to have a computer to yourself at that time of night! AMM, Can't you move the free chat time to START at 8.30pm and run til midnight for all us
mums and dads?

lol, "in the sea of awesomeness, there are some fakes".... Talk about false optimism! I didn't read beyond that line because it was obviously going to written by a person with little first hand experience of this or other contact sites from a male perspective, irrespective of supposed kudos!

The number of times I get messed around by women and couples is ridiculous. They're generally pretending to -
Be something they're not,
Want something they don't, or
Just a plain fake profile (personal opinion is that these are fabricated by AMM in a futile attempt to balance numbers which is denied by AMM).

its hard enough to meet a women that's not high maintenance in day to day life but it seems harder here than at the local because every woman is looking for so much more, often trying to bat 'out of their league' and unwilling to test chemistry. It just distorts the natural order of things ten fold and makes everything farcical from my perspective.

I paid for a membership (which men have to do if they want to have any hope of interacting at a physical level) but all that does is afford the opportunity to have a laugh at the online BS that seems to ensue as a matter of course! Good for a laugh though once you develop a degree of pragmatism around not ever being picked up if you're honest and portray yourself as average.

Want to know why so many blokes probably lie through their back teeth on here about their appearance or other personal elements? It's because so many women and couples that wouldn't get a second glance in normal, day to day social environments, dictate a standard that's just unrealistic.

I'd love to be waking up next to Elle Macpherson or Heidi Klum but that expectation is so far removed from reality that it's just not going to happen.

Oh, and for what it's worth, there should be body definitions of fat, obese and unattractive for both genders. Jessica Rabbit was voluptuous, Nigella Lawson and that Kardashian skank are voluptuous. 5'1" and 100kg is not voluptuous or stocky - it's obese. Amazing how many guys are taken to town for 'lying' but those stats can be represented as something politically correct!

I'm 6'2" and 110kg and reckon I'm fat, certainly overweight. Take a foot off my height, squash the same weight in and tell me that's chubby or voluptuous. Nice euphemism but incorrect. Those stats don't make a person unattractive, but the descriptor causes them to be misrepresented. Aplarently it's ok when women and couples do that but men are labelled all sorts of things when they ply a similar trade.

Don't shoot the messenger fellas, don't be sycophantic wankers, don't disagree or castigate me on this piece just to pump yourselves up and further your own interests. I'm sure if you demonstrate a 'larger than most' appendage or fit in a niche market you're getting plenty!

The power of accurate observation is often called cynicism by those that don't have it! GBS.

Lifestyle expert! Pfft.

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  wotdoUcrave

  More than a month ago

  spot on
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  Pauls49

  More than a month ago

  Well stated Relaxed Guy,
  I cannot agree with you more. There have been earlier posts talking about becoming a paid member. Been there done that, sent messages, no replies. Sent winks, no replies. I no longer waste money renewing my membership after years of nothing. Actually I should take that back, I have had one or two meets with women who state in their profile that they are slim, average or voluptuous when in reality they are OBESE. Do they honestly think that we will not know when we see them?
  
  I have no great issue with larger ladies however if they can not be honest in their profiles, what else are they hiding?
  
  As for facial pictures, There are many on and in here who have friends and family and even peers of whom, what we do here is none of their business. At the end of the day, AMM is not a dating site. AMM is for intimate liaisons. If the chemistry is right and we click, become a dating couple then and only then will I introduce you to my kids and friends.
  
  For those few Genuine women and couples out there all I can say is get real in your expectations, then we can all utilise this site and make friends, whether long term or one night stands, whichever or whatever people want. It is no rocket science. In most cases and I believe the majority of members are clean, moral and above board people who are looking for that bit of consensual fun between adults.
  
  I am no ogre, stalker or anything else undesirable. Just an average fella whom you may pass in the street and yes I fit perfectly into the "What they / she is looking for" yet get an occasional return wink with the contrary. Way too many fake profiles or those who are aiming/hoping for and wishing for a model.
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  AMM.Editor

  More than a month ago

  @Pauls49 If you believe a profile is fake please use the Report Member feature. We had 5000 reports last year which were investigated with resulted in over 1000 profiles being banned and almost the same number being asked to verify their account before we would allow them back on the site. We want to get rid of the fakes as much as you do.
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  Account Closed

  More than a month ago

  Spot on, 100% agree - there seems to be a level of hypocrisy that is difficult to fathom. Well put.
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  WeRNorty

  More than a month ago

  @Relaxed.Guy
  Aplarently 'psychopathic' starts with a "S" now? You know, while I was having a threesome with Elle and Heidi the other day, they told me this is exactly why they don't date guys like you. They might be very much overly picky (not like you), but they said people won't even lift a finger to add a little "P" into an otherwise mad and dry world. Get off the pot, wasting my time boundaries again! And listen, we didn't make it to our last meet because we had a flat tyre, okay? And our phone battery went flat, okay? Nothing's inside my control anymore. I'm sad now, where's my icecream.
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  Account Closed

  More than a month ago

  Seriously? My profile is straight to the point, it tells what I want and yet I still get Stuffed around by guys! I've met many guys on here. I've had guys not show up, or cancel on the day, today I've had 3 guys all have a family member have a different kind of accident and they only messaged me over the weekend wanting to join next Saturday lol, be honest, I don't bite, if you don't like a size 18 gal (stated on my profile that I am a BBW size 18 with JJ bust) then why message me? You don't want to be around other guys in a group gang banging me situation then move on! Not available on the dates I post then move on, don't waste time as I am only looking for what I state on my profile.
  I've had guys say they are 45 to mid 50's show up and look like their in 70's, If a guy is going to put a pic up looking like a young Brad Pitt that's what I'm going to expect you show up looking like, not a guy that's older then my father and can tell me stories about watching Don Bradman when I wasn't even born lol, then there is their dick pictures that are bigger then their real dick. I don't have huge requirements but if you're going to state on your profile that you have an 7 inches or more, expect to be asked for proof, and then if you turn up with a 3 inch cock don't expect to be invited back! I have my face and a genuine pic of my body, I also have Validations from some of guys that I've met from this site and have been truthful and honest about their age, looks and cock sizes! I know a lot of guys and women don't be honest and stretch the truth!! So guys don't go tarring every woman on here as fake or time wasters when there's a huge majority of guys on here that I've come across that have made it onto my growing block list!

lots of time wasters here unfortunate to say

Wish there was a "potential fake" button for unverified that would display a warning in the profile after some number of people think they are fake. If they are legit then getting verified would wipe off the potential fake warning.

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  AMM.Editor

  More than a month ago

  That's not how it works. We have a Report Member feature which you can access on any profile. If we find the member is fake then we ban them - so far this year over 900 profiles have been closed / banned as a result of being reported. If we're not sure then we ask them to verify their profile - so far this year we've asked 755 members to verify before we allow them to continue using their profile. Our main piece of advice is that if you suspect a member is fake use the feature, that's what it's designed for.

What do you mean "some"? more like most.

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  Account Closed

  More than a month ago

  Well, true Jws
  But i trusted this cple and believed they were genuine, but what i dinr get is if she w a crook why wait 45min to send me a txt , why not straight away
  And then the next day i caught her out w a lie saying 2 diffrent things

Though i might share this as they say how to spot a fake, well it also happens with validated members too. I have been chatting with this cpl over a month & a bit via email & on the phone. So i knew they were genuine, so i went to meet this cpl. I rocked up & waited 15 min & rang the person got there voice & left a msg no responce, waited another 15 min and this this time I gave txt still noting & i said if i dont hear from you soon I am going hm, still nothing So i start to make my way hm 45 min later I get a text from them saying sorry the women been vomiting something she ate, & she said the hubby was wating for me which wasn't true, so i just replied would it have hurt you to give me at txt & a few other things got said, the guy was very apologetic so we left it at that. But I did catch her out. So then i get a message from the women on Amm, she says hi so sorry about last night & Hubby's gone to work today & would you like to catch up today, to which I replied sorry I unavailable. And her responce to me was, aww sorry i have been Vomiting all night & abit under the weather, so we will catch up next time we are down & its all is gd And i just replied with No its not all good you have just said one thing & then come back with something different response. I can't understand why people have to lie & what do they get out of it?

I have been on this site for about 8 years
I have meet some lovely people & some nasty people. And with the experience that i have i can now pick the gd from the bad & if they can't provide a picture then its a no go

And yes married men cheat on there wives without them knowing & yes wives cheat on there husbands, each to there own personal I wont go there as i have had it done to me

And you get a vibe if they are a gd person or not & i wont give out my number until i feel comfortable & if enjoyable for both companies I say go for it as yes this is amm and if peoole dont like it, dont join

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  nqsensualgent

  More than a month ago

  I recently "met" a hot young woman on this site. She insisted on using our private email addresses (no issue, initially). then she said something about that men don't like seeing her because of her job & employer who was a sponsor for another site (alarm bell #1). then she insisted on me going into an international dating site (AB #2) which then led into paying for "chat time" with her under a similar name! That didn't happen & I contacted "Support" & she is banned.

I agree about the pix issue - went to meet people who turned out their pix was so old - I didn't even recognise them...
They recognised me becoz mine are recent!
Anyone else experienced this too?!?

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  Account Closed

  More than a month ago

  Yes! I've had in the past (I've been on and off this site since 2006) some hot stud muffins in the pictures then show up as cold old muffins! and nothing like their pictures, If I can't see the face properly I'll request a clearer face picture, if they refuse or ignore that's a flag for me that their picture isn't as genuine as they want you to believe! lol

Thank you for this blog topic, very informative!
However, I am neither a fake or a time waster! BUT, my occupation is somewhat unpredictable, I get notified the day before I have to work or a phonecall on the day. This makes it extremely difficult for me to arrange meets or if I am able to they may be cancelled at a minutes notice....once this has been explained via chat, I either do not get a response or I get blocked!! After reading this I now have a bit of an insight as to why this may be happening.
Anyone out there with any suggestions on how I could get around this would be appreciated.

I feel that AMM has to take a even bigger step in the right direction if you can't put a face photo up and Verification, Validation of your profile giving a time limit then you should be kicked off the system this would solve everything and be left with 100% Genuine people. Also if someone sends you a message take the time to reply even if it's to say "thanks but your not what I am looking for" same response Booted from the system a warning dose nothing as time wasters and rude people just ignore the warning. In closing what are you hiding if you can't put up a photo of your face and be 100% Genuine.

Why can't everyone be verified...as part of joining? Why is it an option? This would def ensure a site with real people!

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  Account Closed

  More than a month ago

  Agree 100%

I don't agree with the not handing out of skype or phone numbers, as I have done so in the past and ended up with a stalker, or calls at all ungodly hours. And as far as the photo sharing goes....I have just two photos on my profile and if they ask for more I tend to back away as I feel they are just sitting there wanking themselves off.....I have had my photos shared around by one guy on this site before thats why I only have two pics now and no face shot....if they are genuine then they arrange to meet and then they get to see me for real....short and simple. As far as scammers goes, I usually can spot them within two messages.

what about the people who's criteria you meet,you send them a wink or message and they then say thanks but i'm not what your looking for....according to the profile your exactly what i'm looking for....

When the pics look too good to be true, they usually are just taken from the internet. Reverse search can be such a help in catching the fakes out. I use tineye. A great tool that will show within seconds if the photo is stolen from another site.( generally pics of models overseas) Have caught a few male profiles out this way.

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  Account Closed

  More than a month ago

  I do the same, but using Google reverse image search
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  Account Closed

  More than a month ago

  harder to do now they won't let you right click it.

Thank you for your notation about new people & worries... we were in that boat... we've now verified our profile for that reason... as it was a little scary when we first started.

Some single female and couples give the lead on to chat and meet when the time comes they can't make it
Known some couples that willing to meet next month or next week but don't return messages very deflating

Fake profiles don't bother spending money on memberships. They have easy access to be whoever they choose to be and yet here you are telling us how to pick them. What a joke. If you really want to have integrity then the easy solution to this is simple. Make ALL members verify their account upon registration whether they be paid or unpaid.

Pretty much agree, but mostly states the obvious. That being said, what is obvious to some is not always obvious to others. And there is always the chance of picking up a useful tip or bit of information that those who know better never thought of.

Nice article. Another to keep an eye out for is an English speaker who gets context wrong Ïm looking for a kind, lovely instead of loving type stuff...

It's a nice article if your a woman, but this happens to guys as well.
It really isn't easy trying to meet someone on here without YOU making out that the girls are "victims" and the guys are "perpetrators"
How about showing some balance and facts?

You are so right! I have had fakes who after only a couple of phone calls or texts they have some reason why they can't connect, one woman originally said she had no kids, but come Easter I said I would spend it with her, but no I couldn't her son lives with her and he likes his space, then she said she had to leave the country for the weekend flying to Singapore, but within two hours she was texting me asking me to go and get a $50 voucher for her phone, I explained that where I live no shops were open, so I decided to catch her out and ask why her daughter couldn't do it for her, her response, she lives in the U.S.! So I told her to get her son to do it, but all I got in response was how disappointed she was in me! And kept badgering for me to do it. I blocked her and reported her to this site and they removed her profile within a hour. So well done to AMM!

Absolute another good peace of advice,and it gooooooooood to Refreshes the minds of all the sexy, horney Happy people on here. To the fakes & scammers out there go suck the fart out of a dead seagull!!!!!!!

One more flag to be aware of. If you see a validation of an unverified couple by a single guy, and that couple does NOT having "men" included in what they are seeking, its highly likely that the couple profile is fake, and has been set up by the guy behind the single guy profile. The single guy will often then close that particular single guy profile, leaving the validation but no way of anyone knowing that the validation was done by a single guy and not another couple.

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  AMM.Editor

  More than a month ago

  Good points, and it's for this very reason that we restricted our Validations to members who have paid for membership or have verified their profile to try and keep Validations real. We hope this gives the Validations on AMM more credibility.

Don't agree about the phone number one. I've had 2 stalkers on here one which told me she loved me after our first time having sex. She end up turning up at my work. I have an avo on her. I do not give out my phone number until I have meet the lady once or twice. The rest of article is good

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  Account Closed

  More than a month ago

  Lesson learnt I hope you don't tell people what company you work for, what area you work. I had a guy tell me his address, where he worked, and then stuffed me around, and the idiot used his real name as his nickname on the site and facebook and if I was a c**t I could've caused a lot of havoc for him but I didn't!

Lol I have been back on here after a few years off and have found a fair few Tyre kickers. . Now these red flags you speak of make so much sense. . Looks like I have a few of the fake couples. . . (Not for long) love the article that have been implemented since I was last on here. . Learning heaps... Might finally be going to try some fun new things. . Cheers

The site is full of them and not just couples there are a lot of single profiles as well !!!!

As to the " won't meet married men" thing - many couples don't want to be involved with guys cheating on their wives. From a practical point of view, we like to contact people when we want. Broke this rule once and got the phone call from the wife..very unpleasant and taught us a lesson. Would never do it again!

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  Trythishard1

  More than a month ago

  That's exactly what I mean , are people so closed minded that they don't think honest open relationships exist . Newsflash everyone , just because a person is married does NOT mean they are cheating !!

Hi all - have been on and off this site since its inception and Good on AMM for trying to keep it real for us, is a world leader - Agree with all about most other sites with the fakes (lol) on the sexy shots in a LEFT had drive vehicle etc, few other things have noticed - overseas vehicle rego plates, items in the photo not available in OZ (detergents, soft drink, snack items etc) beer bottles,ciggie packs (as all in OZ now plain packed) trees and plants that are obviously not from OZ in the background (never joined any of em just trial member to sus em out) noticed some of them now using the tactic of sending secondary mssge if no response to the first (guilt tripping) Have noticed a few PPL on the comments bit worried about Validation here (sending AMM your ID) just a thought for those who have not figured it out - you can use Scanned ID ( drivers licence is best) and block out all the other details with a Black Felt pen (Licence #, Card # ,Expiry Date etc) can do the same with passport) - I only use a prepaid Visa Card so as to minmise CC account details on any date site - No Pic = no interest, got something to hide eh! - if a member cant use a Mobile phone these days to take a (at least) photo for a profile shot from shoulders down should raise a red flag - a mention to the site owners - please do something about the size of the profile pics, ie you click em and they enlarge for better view and study - strongly agree with - cam contact first - most cams now would be movable ( laptop and Mobile phone) and I can ask to see the surroundings and verify if the member is in OZ if they say they are, gets em every time ! (OK if they say they are in another country and are honest about it, fine) - with phone numbers these days can use a second phone with prepaid (cheaper than a membership to a bogus site!) - switch it off if worried bout calls at 2am (lol) - I have found the site a great way to meet like minded sexy females - my clubbing and bar days are over, single Dad now - how else could I meet up with sexy ladies? - how else could I have any idea of what they are into ( without asking and risking a smack in the face !) try asking a member on one of the OZ tame date sites if they will swallow, would meet me for coffee with no panties on, take a nice relaxing drive with vibrating egg or dildo in their pussy ? have a sexy picnic, etc - lol ( all of which I could do with my previous wife! who was taken from me by cancer) - anyway just my 2 cents worth, member input as the comments from others helps - Keep it real all you sexy PPL out there - Keep safe, live your dream, live each day as if was your last - one day your going to be right ! - ciao -

As a newbie I'm surprised anyone is still here, this looks far more complicated than I thought. I understand I will need to be a paid up member but if you guys are and are having this much trouble I may need to reconsider as I rarely have that much time to spend on line - work NOT WIFE. No fake or time waster.

To the people who don't want to verify - there are 2 forms of verification - you can verify your photo, which doesn't involve ANY personal verification - it's only the age verification which involves personal information. If you're not willing to verify your photo that does ring alarm bells.

Many valid comments both for & against Chantelle's examples & all responses above. I can only comment from my personal experience having used various adult sites for years.
Genuine reasons exist for not verifying profiles or giving out mobile numbers/skype names etc. Personal safety & job security,are 2 reasons I won't verify my profile.
You REALLY don't know who you are talking to online or on skype etc or what skills that person on the other end of computer/phone has.
Some of you would be shocked just how easy it is obtaining data & info! Yes AMM has disabled right click copy option but that doesn't mean anything, ask any IT person!
As for not wanting a relationship & not wanting to meet married men. Some of us don't like drama. It gets messy when wives find out.
Yes there are fakes,time wasters, liars, cheats, scammers of both sexes on here or any site but there are awesome people as well.
I have met heaps great people & still see some of them:)
Some wanted me to do validations for them, sadly I can't as I won't verify my profile. My personal safety & job are more important but that doesn't make me any less real or honest or them any less fantastic.
Be smart & have fun:)

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  Account Closed

  More than a month ago

  Hear Hear well put .

One man's timewaster may well be another man's treasure , lets not forget that . Profiles that insist on "no timewasters" often end up wasting my time . They might be fake or not , that's their problem. The "attached" debate gets on my goat . If both parties enjoy sex with other people and there are no secrets , how is that cheating ! I don't understand .

Then you meet one and get on fantastic they become the love of your life only to find out during your relationship they're organising to meet someone else and have set up a couples profile with that person. Thank you AMM for banning this guy a liar, cheat and emotional abuser.

I will not Verify my profile as it is MY personal choice not to divulge that info needed. :)

I tend to use my gut instinct on a lot of occasions as to whether to meet someone or not. As far as the married men go, I used to hook up with them, but it's too difficult. If you can't hook up during the day, then you'll never hook up. The other thing that is annoying is the way some guys treat women on here, they treat women as a vessel to blow their load without having to pay for it. Girls want to have casual fun but they want to feel as though they aren't being used.

The length, spelling and articulation of a profile, and the first few IMs are important to me. There are many lovely genuine ppl. I'm fortunate to attract often, the real deal. A mobile number can be dished out; your home address or other information is still protected. Let's face it, ppl either want to meet, and show a real recent photo and get on with it. Being assertive and non pushy is the key. This site has an agenda for fun real time connecting. Stop mucking around and discern, do you want to play or not. I have some amazing wonderful friends off here. Go on gut.

I have just come back after being away from here for a while..my profile is straight up dont believe in bull shitting anyone..I have been asked to call all of the ppl I have chattered with but I am not about to give out my number to be swamped by ppl who just want sex. I know what I want and make my intentions clear from the word go.If I think they are worth a look I will give them my email and take from there..

Generally good advice, and yes we are verified. The only point we would like to make is the Mrs has no desire to chat online as her job involves computers so more of the same at night is a no, no! There for we are regularly disregarded as fake as the Mr does the chat, oh and plenty of pics which all match BTW :)

Albeit security and protecting your identity is paramount. However as Easy2Adore commented, everyone can get a Skpye account and still remain anonymous. It's too easy to BS with written words.

Anyone playing the BS card, can usually be tripped up in a few live chat sessions.

If you seeking someone who is truly single, then try mixing up your chat times. More than likely anyone who has problems chatting on Skype at 1am, may not be as unattached as they claim.

Yep. My personal favourite is "the wife's just ducked out to the supermarket".

At 3:00am........?

L is for LOSER!

My profile is genuine. I am real and eager to be fucked as I say I want to, but as the article says, I am cautious and nervous. We all are and would be.
Yes, a verified profile might be one indication of a genuine person, but I don't want to send a copy of my drivers license or passport.

I will deffinately make sure I take all this on board now after being the victim of a time wasters for 12 months.

Ok we have all said about fakes on here so we all we are real members so lets find someone on this topic problem fixed I say

I agree about not giving out phone numbers as women are in such short supply on here and you do get bombarded with calls/texts all hours of the day or night.
Re: Skype. I have a 'naughty' Skype address so no private details need to be given out. I suggest you all do that.

hi there...i agree totally...im a bit over fake profiles, time wasters and people who just dont give a damn. It's not just this site...ive tried a few other sites and its the same story, people who have tiny little lives and nothing in them.

I couldn't agree with you more as there are a lot of fakers out there that always ruin it for the genuine ppl that are on this site.
Or u go out and meet them and there photos don't match there pf for singles and couples, and why must there be so many dick shot MAJOR TURN OFF

• 

  Trythishard1

  More than a month ago

  This site caters for people who enjoy posting nude pics . If it is a major turn off for you , you are on the wrong site !!
• 

  Account Closed

  More than a month ago

  I know that try
  And yes I agree that this is a site for posting nudie pic which I love to see , But what a major turn off for me is the DICKI shot, you have seen it over and over again

There is another fake category, talking specifically about couples. These are the ones who do meet publicly, have a lovely time chatting with you, then presumably go home and screw their brains out. You never hear back from them. We call it "playing the brink".

What a load of shit I could argue every point, I meet the ones I want to, I give my number to selected few as there are so many losers on here singles and couples, pics are of me and look like my pics and I do have a life, it doesn't revolve around AMM and meeting people 24 hrs a day

i agree with NoTreble. I rarely give out my phone number/skype or any details like that until i am comfortable with someone. its as simple as that. we seem to forget that this is the internet and as much a we think we've assimilated into the technological age there are still people out there who use it for all the wrong reasons and i am not about to risk my personal safety because some asshole that i dont even know wants to get his rocks off. i hate guys that come off as pushy and desperate if you act like that with me then it makes me less likely to go any further. both parties should be comfortable. and it seems that most guys seem to forget that. And i know there are women out there like that too so its not just a male thing. but i am not the kind of girl who will jump into bed with you two seconds after saying hi. have some damn decency for crying out loud.

Look for any powerpoints on the wall in the photos. You'll be able to spot fake overseas ones.

There is only one way to go, and that it to make it mandatory for ALL profiles to be verified, that will go a long way in helping sort out the fakes from the genuine profiles.

I have to say that I have not encountered as many fakes on this site as on some others. Time-wasters, yes, but fakes, not so much.

The "verified" profile is a good idea, but there's nothing to stop someone getting verified and then uploading false photos - been caught by that!

This post is perfect. Got to agree with everything.

I'm also totally with MTF.TG. I don't give out my personal details until I'm ready to meet someone. I am no fake but I'm not one to jump straight from a quick chat here into bed with someone. Pressure to meet puts me off and if you're coming on too strong, particularly after I say to back off a little, I will tell you where to go - or block you. If this is seen as time wasting, then so be it. MY safety and MY personal well-being is my concern, not how horny you are.

So many fakes and time wasters............

Profiles that disappear after a few messages.

Profiles that just stop messaging virtually mid conversation and never respond again.

So annoying.

I have been on adult sites for a number of years now.
Have had many bad experiences in the past.
A few good experiences too.
The "gems in the rough" I call them.

I also disagree about giving out my phone number due to the bad experiences I had when I use to.
We have to become good friends before I do that now.
I use some form of IM for arranging my meets prior to that.

There can be a fine line between time wasting and being cautious. Working out the difference comes from instinct, past experience and patience.
Anyone too eager to meet on first contact and no form of verification of who they say they are is another sign.

Profiles with very little information tends to put up red flags for me.
My profile is extensive to help reduce any time wasted. It does help if people actually read the profiles though.
As another red flag for me is when someone asks a question that is answered in my profile.

Have come across a lot of profiles with old photos or when asked for photo verification have received old photos and they have looked completely different to the photos when we have met, so I tend to lean towards cam verification more these days.

Very interesting.

There is so many fake profiles on this site dead give away is the spelling and the sentences don't make sense but I must say Ashley Madison is the worst site 99% are fake on that site

Thank you so much for your information - I cant tell you the amount of time Ive been burnt with either fakes - Or waste of time players.
It got to the point where i was to cautious to send my gallery or chatting etc.
I was even hesitant (still am - of giving out my number) to people - when after talking to them for a while.
But yes .... Be aware - there are so many fakes - But also there are some awesome people out there too
Vicki

Hi All

Yes this sounds about right. In my experience the language is the first give away. Also some people are new and are not really sure what they want. May would just like to talk dirty and never want to meet. Being upfront would probably help by the way.

As for the 'couples' thing there must be a lot of wives that are away, having a break, visiting their family, away for the weekend....

As for handing out details, sometimes people do want to use alternate methods - email, txt etc so give them the benefit on that. Time-wasters and pic hunters well they are usually easy to pick ordinarily.

In any case good luck and as mentioned verified is no guarantee.

Finally, to those genuine people - don't be time wasters yourselves. It does happen, so like most, just politely say that the person is not what you are looking for and good luck with the search.

Hope you all have some success!
Dr K

we have been on amm for many years made many mistakes in the selection process and have had some great encounters. what we have learned is it doesn't matter what the profile is verified, phone number, skype, they can all be manipulated. when we are on line on amm we are usually both at the computer. the easiest way to avoid the bull is to follow your instincts. also interstate profile of couples that the male happens to be in your state are usually not a couple profile. couples enjoy the pleasure they each get from experiencing things together.

I have picked a few fakes simply by the photos, One in particular was full of promise and always made suggestive comments told me of her conquests! Then I spotted the American power points in the photos!! Challenged her or him and the profile was shut down within half an hour! Good advice in this article!

Just a note bout the "verified" profiles. I don't wish to be mean, but the likelihood I'm going to scan any personally identifying document and hand it to a dating site (not merely an adult site but _any_ dating site) is zero. There is far too much identity theft online already.

As for detecting fakes, I find tineye.com very useful on the pictures that look "too good to be true". Once again, AMM makes right clicking on them quite hard (but of course it can still be done if you know how).

In the kudos column, the warning when people have IP addresses from other countries is excellent.

Great topic. Great work AMM
We have found that many non paying members profiles male/female/couple have almost the same access and power as us paid members. For example, non paying members being able to block payed/verified members because we ask either photo or email or skype or cam verification to prove if they are real.
There are many profiles including couple profiles, when asked if they can cam in private to prove they are a couple come up with excuses like they don't have cam or their cam is broken!! yet they are in a cam chat room.
Hopefully AMM can keep leading the way.

Made the mistake of giving number out to a couple that never eventuated, drunken calls at 1am several months later wanting phone sex and pics from the male didnt go down well. So phone numbers are a no no until we are comfy with the people (m/f or cpl). Validations are a great way to find decent people, we have occasionally touched base with a member to ask about a potential playmate. Good luck everyone.

In an age of bathroom/bedroom mirror selfies, look out for a consistent theme of international style power points/plugs.

I echo some of the previous comments... kik can be great for contacting with some degree of anonymity and buffer zone.

One thing I do when I see a picture too good to be true is search Google images using their pic. Basically what Google images does is a reverse search using the image you submit and it checks the rest of the internet and will try to find matches. If none are found then that is a good sign. If the pic is stolen then the search result will be very clear as to where the image was taken from, usually a porn site.

• 

  OurNortySecret

  More than a month ago

  Good one Penny.
  
  I've seen them do this on the MTV show Catfish; a very handy hint!

Good for AMM for supporting genuine members.

Unfortunately another sex/dating site in australia was found guilty of creating 1371 fake profiles in 2010 by the ACCC. To quote another swinging site (which praised AMM in the same article)

"This well established company has recently been found guilty of creating and operating nearly 1400 fake female profiles. These were used not only to encourage male members to sign up but when their subscriptions were ready to expire they were inundated with "flirts" and messages from the fake females in the hope of making the guys renew their membership."

Thanks AMM for looking out for your members!

I'm not a swinger and I won't participate in the dishonesty of cheating.
Have found most people here to be genuine.
One dumped me after 3 dates, then abused me when I asked what had happened...
Have found more honesty here than conventional sites like RSVP

It's a fair article and I have taken note! I have met some stunning real people on this site and like most of you, have also wasted a lot of time with no-shows. As a result I rely on the validations comments and have a look at the people who are doing the recommendations, and check how credible they are. I also make the point in an early message that I'm real and will always meet once I've given a commitment to do so. Wish that others would do the same!

Photos can be hilarious. Left hand drive cars, British style central heating, and I know another site where I constantly see photos with watermarks of porn sites!

We are verified and prefer contacting people who have as well. We generally don't give out numbers until we have met, but we use kik instead.

Not the biggest lover of giving my phone number. I have had a few bad experiences in the past and will not give out my number until have meet people.

Great to see AMM taking steps to weed out the fakes. We have dealings with a lot of people and the high numbers of fakes infesting the site are a pain. A few other "red flags": unverified Platinum members, profiles using a facial photo of an attractive female, but not her partner, "first timers" who have been on the site for 5 years or more, and profiles where the female partner "is just taking a break".

I'm a naturally cautious & quite private individual so I don't disclose my phone number or Skype name but that doesn't mean I don't want to meet someone. I have met a few lovely men, when I'm comfortable or they agree to a public meeting first, and I have had one or two waste my time. The time wasters tend to push hard for a meet & don't bother to show up, & when I messaged one to find out why, I was blocked. I don't know why, I wasnt abusive or obnoxious. Now no skin off my nose if he wants to be an arse but that behaviour makes it more likely that the cautious people like myself, will be even more cautious in future. If you only want to chat & flirt, say so. Don't say you'll meet if you have no intention of it & if someone seems cautious about meeting, don't assume they're yanking your chain - just walk away. And in relation to a comment above about married men - I don't want a relationship. I don't play with attached men because i don't wish to be a party to adultery.

• 

  Trythishard1

  More than a month ago

  Here we go again . An " assumption " that attached men are committing adultery .
• 

  Account Closed

  More than a month ago

  Attached people are committing adultery but some have agreements with their partners were it is accepted by both, and that's fine, that's their relationship. I'm uncomfortable with it though & it's my choice not to partake. I'm just passing judgement, as you are, I'm stating my preferences, as they are.
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  kinkster88

  More than a month ago

  @trythishard1 It's not an assumption; it is implied that she is specifically referring to married men who are cheating, not married men who are in an open relationship.
• 

  Account Closed

  More than a month ago

  And that should be *not passing judgement, not just passing judgement.

Take a good look at the photos. As a photographer I am very conscious of backgrounds.
I have seen on another site a girl supposedly from the Gold Coast with a central heating panel radiator in her bedroom.
Another with a sloping ceiling a la an attic room. What are the chances in Oz?
Look for a power point. Is it Oz or European or US style

• 

  Bird09

  More than a month ago

  I totally agree in what is being said. I tried another site and got burnt bad. It was my first time. still a virgin at the internet dating, so I have a hard time trusting anyone who doesn't meet. Words are just words it is to easy to bullshit. The same to send photo's that are not you or when you were younger. To many judge a book by its cover. Be truthful kind and honourable.

I have seen some really poor fake profiles!
The most obvious ones are as follows:

profile photos with an URL/web address attached to them in any of the corners.

new member profiles, with absolutely no personal information added. Also, not updating their profile even after an few months has passed.

getting winks/messages from new member profiles,
and by the time you respond back to them, the profile does not exsist, as in it's been cancelled or under review.

I agree with all of the other information sent out by other members and staff of AMM. It's so frustrating and disappointing to find out that you have been an victim of wasted time, effort and embarrasment!

I will keep on going.... have now for many years, and I still will!
Cheers!

Excellent advice. My ex and I were into swinging for quite a while and I know all about the "fantasists", "tyre-kickers" and downright LIARS you can encounter. Oh, to the guys who complain about women not wanting married men - these women may genuinely NOT looking for a relationship but many women don't like a guy who's doing the dirty on his wife - simple as that!

• 

  KeySydney

  More than a month ago

  If there was a 'like' button here, I'd be all over it
• 

  Trythishard1

  More than a month ago

  This is a joke surely !!

Lol...im a girl pussykats and i like giving anal...have u not heard of strap ons?.. Its gr8 if thats what your partners into, your comment could also,apply to straight men who enjoy receiving anal being accused of being gay or bi when theyre not. I think you have to use your intuition, pick verfifed profiles and meet in public, its a game of chance.

• 

  Account Closed

  More than a month ago

  Agree!
  Mmm strap ons ;)

An obvious one is the very hot young girl that ticks all the boxes, and is happy to hear from any one up to 99.

Girls that tick anal giving.

The couple where the wife/partner is never available eg in the shower, out walking the dog, working late, visiting sick mother, overseas.

Personal details that dont match up with the photos.

The list goes on and on, its a minefield out there, but with patience and hard work there are a lot of "genuine " people to be found on the internet

THEMONKEYCLUB..THEPUSSYKATS PARTIES

• 

  kinkster88

  More than a month ago

  Now now, I am a female that is OK with anal giving. Haven't you tried it before?

Some valid points, but I disagree with the phone comments, too many times I've given out my number only to be bombarded with calls n txts all hours of the day and night, I don't believe in spending hours on the phone with someone who is basically just going to be a fk buddy. My profile is verified and that should be enough. I don't give out my number anymore as I'm up at 2.30am and a lot of men on here have no respect for my early hours.

• 

  Account Closed

  More than a month ago

  Spot on! Each time I think about giving out my number I always have to contend with the possibility I'm going to get calls and several messages at all hours of the night, then be accused of being a 'time waster' for not answering or responding in what they consider to be a timely fashion.

I agree with luv4hrs some say they are seeking something discrete and Casual encounters and then don't want a no stings attached meet .I don't get it I think they want a relationship and should just be truthful as to what they seek

• 

  Account Closed

  More than a month ago

  BIG difference between wanting a "relationship" and not wanting to enable a cheater - you married guys just don't get it!
• 

  Account Closed

  More than a month ago

  You're so right Leolady727 - I see there are NO married women on AMM lol. You're all so pure. Girl Power!!
• 

  Account Closed

  More than a month ago

  Enable a cheater? See, that's judgemental right there !! It's not just married guys that cheat ..... women do it as well. I actually prefer seeing a married guy as they "get" the whole "no strings attached" situation and understand that all that can be offered is a close friendship. Married guys get a bad rap on here in my experience ..... we ALL have reasons for doing what we do and being an adult site, why should we be judged for it? I'm completely honest and upfront with those I speak to and it's then their decision if they like it or not.
  Anyway, I'm on a bit of a tangent and off subject a bit, but just had to have my say....lol..... I actually think married guys "get" it waaaaay more than people give them credit for ..... notice I'm not saying more than single guys as I wouldn't want to sound judgmental....lol :)
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  Trythishard1

  More than a month ago

  Reality check !! ... People like Leolady727 just don't get it !!
• 

  kinkster88

  More than a month ago

  @robbo554 Did she say that there are no married women on AMM? Did she even imply it? She says guys because it is guys who are commenting here and guys who she deals with on here. Stop assuming things to suit your own agenda.
• 

  kinkster88

  More than a month ago

  @kinkysex43 She is entitled to think cheating is immoral and not want to have anything to do with it. I don't even see anything judgmental about what Leolady727 said.
  
  Myself on the other hand will be as judgmental as I damn well please, considering I have seen cheating tear families apart and hurt people beyond measure. There is no excuse for it (and I have heard them all). Keep in mind I myself cheated on a boyfriend and on my husband when I was younger, so I know very well what both sides of the story are like. I don't make excuses for cheating. There are reasons but not excuses.
• 

  Blade.au

  More than a month ago

  I agree that affairs can wreck a relationship but that's a very narrow minded view .They can also keep a relationship together ,perhaps there are circumstances in which either partner is unable to fulfil the others needs ,desires be it through illness or other reason . this life is a one time deal and I don't see why you would live your life unfulfilled . It can also rekindle a lost desire between a couple that have been together a long time .Your generalization that every man or woman on here that is married is cheating for the one reason is wrong .Just remember that prostitution be it a man or woman, is the oldest profession and has kept many a relationship together and most probably stopped many an argument over sexual needs /desires .The cheating person as you but it may love there spouse very much and not want to disturb the love they have for each other ,provided no one is hurt and that's circumstance dependant ,I don't see a problem with fulfilling our lives .BTW I am not married or cheating . perhaps you need to think about everyone's circumstances first before you put everyone in to a specific category

Also many single females have men/couples/women desired but won't meet a married man as there is no chance of a relationship and come across judgemental. I don't get it this is a swingers site, not rsvp.

• 

  Account Closed

  More than a month ago

  some woman wont cheat on another woman and no its a swingers site there right to decide
• 

  KeySydney

  More than a month ago

  It's not about wanting a relationship but rather not wanting to be with somebody who is dishonest with their partner. I think that is fair enough
• 

  Trythishard1

  More than a month ago

  Just because someone is married , it doesn't mean they are cheating . Are people so narrow minded that they don't think open relationships exist ? Sure everyone has the right to decide who they meet but you would expect a site like this would have a bigger % of " sex positive " people .
• 

  MissAffection

  More than a month ago

  No it is NOT a swingers site. It is an adult dating site.
• 

  kinkster88

  More than a month ago

  @trythishard1 It is implied that we are referring to men who are actually cheating, not those in an open relationship.
• 

  kinkster88

  More than a month ago

  @luv4hrs I will meet a married man, provided I can confirm beyond doubt that it is an open relationship and that it is the healthy kind of open relationship. These are petty dang rare (from my personal experiences).
  
  Adding to that, some people just don't want to have sex with someone who has baggage. They like to keep it simple and drama free, no sneaking around and trying to find times when the wife isn't home etc.
  
  I won't have sex with a man who is cheating on his wife. Just because I want non-committed sex, does not mean I want to play any part in a man cheating on his wife. I am sexually attracted to a man's personality just as much as his physical appearance, and cheating says a lot about their personality/who they are. It is a major turn off for me.
• 

  Account Closed

  More than a month ago

  MissAffection I have news for you. This has been adult sex meeting and Swingers site at least for the last 10 years and more. Only in the past 2 years has AMM actual advertised in the public media as a come find your next partner.
• 

  AMM.Editor

  More than a month ago

  @steveshere We've never pretended to be a "traditional" dating site but we've always had an option in the profile settings for members to nominate that they were looking for "a relationship" and we've been promoting singles parties in the events section for 8 years. I guess a lot of our members are having fun until they find their soul mate (for those who want that).
• 

  Account Closed

  More than a month ago

  I will be happy to play with a married man if his wife is present....i wont help any man cheat on his wife...i know what it feels like ...

Do not really agree with the not handing out Skype or phone details, we never do as that is a personal piece of information, easiest way is to turn on your cam in a private session that way it keeps everything on site and no information handed out to a potential stranger. We have been screwed around a lot mainly by single guys, yeah I know sounds unbelievable but true.

Looks like fakes can be seen right through...so the message is...
If you are not committed. Save us all the bother!"
The fakes are the losers in the end! All attendees have a ball!

Spot on. I hear from couples and ladies that the red flags mentioned correspond exactly to experiences with time wasters. Experienced AMM'ers do not waste their time on contacts that do not progress.

• 

  Account Closed

  More than a month ago

  I now only attend parties as real people are in attendance.... a variety of personality's and body types to choose from and you can remain anonymous with just using a play name....always great fun and no strings attached or time wasters

The adult meeting/sex world is a tricky business.

We aligned Tassieswingers exclusively with Adult Match Maker many years ago because they run an honest operation by Australians in Australia. The efforts by AMM to put in place processes to verify that profiles are genuine is to be commended.
Our own experience is that most people are genuine but have vastly differing skills, experience, confidence, cautiousness and trust in others. Everyone is different.

We have a simple process at Tassieswingers. We say "when can you meet us". Fakes and time wasters will not meet. We never meet people without getting and verifying a mobile number.

Thanks AMM for the new Member Validation feature. Another small step towards a safer place for people to get in touch and meet.

As always the very lovely Chantelle has written a guide that should be added to your arsenal of knowledge and skills of what to look for in the online world.

So what underwear DO you have on at the moment Chantelle? lol.

Sexy wishes all
Tassieswingers

Some absolute sterling advice there. If you take these tips away and work with them when meeting people on AMM, you'll steer a much straighter course in meeting genuine people.