The Top 5 Things Women Wish Men Knew About Sex
Nicole Carrington-Sima
on 28 November 2016
23 comments
Like fine wine and chocolate, sex is one of life’s greatest pleasures. And the more mind-blowing sex you have, the greedier you get to reach that pinnacle, again and again.
So, what makes a man a good lover? How can men perfect the art of sex, so his partners are begging for more, quivering at his very touch and having more multiple orgasms than the tantalisingly trippy lesbian sex scene in Black Swan?
Here are some handy pointers to send your lady to O-town and keep her there, time and time again.
1. Body of evidence
Get cliterate – learn about how her beautiful body works. Hell, make a map on how to find her all-important clitoris if you have to – you have to be able to stimulate that all-important, wonderful female sex organ if you want your woman to experience ultimate pleasure. And once you’ve found her clitoris, ask her how she prefers it to be stimulated – hard or soft, slow or fast – don’t press the “magic button” the same way every time and hope she’ll orgasm. Develop a deep understanding and appreciation for women’s sexual organs to rival that of what you feel for your own – your penis is not the be-all-and-end-all, despite its many and varied good uses. Case in point: the clitoris is made up of the same tissue as the penis; it is divided into crura or legs, bulbs, foreskin and a head. The only difference between a clitoris and a penis is that most of the female erectile tissue is internal – and that it’s often longer, at around eight inches. Take that, buddy. Now, go show her clitoris some damn respect.
2. Push it real good
Women’s bodies are hardwired differently to yours – foreplay is not an optional extra – it’s an essential. You need to get her wet in order for her to achieve ultimate arousal – for many women, this means up to 20 minutes of stroking, fondling, licking, sucking, fingering – whatever blows her hair back. Her orgasm is just as important as yours, so don’t be in such a rush – slow it the fuck down. Now, that being said, don’t get me wrong – a lot of ladies love a hard and fast sex session, me included, quickies definitely have their place. However, if you go at her like a jackhammer, without devoting the necessary time and care to pleasuring her well and good first, it’s only going to end in extreme sexual frustration for her. Ain’t nobody got time for that – she won’t be inviting you back to hers again in a hurry. Try educating yourself about sexual pleasure techniques – everyone benefits from increased learning. Do yourself (and your partner) a favour and Google “edging” now – you’ll both thank me for it.
3. Let’s talk about sex, baby
Calling all wannabe sex gods – you’ve got to learn to establish open and honest communication with your lovers if you want to achieve true greatness in the boudoir and beyond. Never, ever assume you know what really sexually excites her – ask her. I once first discovered a new partner harboured a serious oil fetish, which was all good and well until he excitedly whipped out a giant bottle of oil, and squirted it all over me and my beautiful, new sheet set before I had a chance to react, without so much as a “Baby, how’d you like to…”. Now, it’s only polite to ask – don’t risk ruining your sex partner’s good opinion of you and her beautiful bed linen in the process. It’s all in the preparation – talk, talk, talk to her about what truly blows her hair back and seek consent about what you’re going to do, before you do it, especially when it comes to sex play like anal, BDSM and/or your oil fetishes. Another hot tip, pardon the pun: learn to master the art of talking dirty and sexting at the appropriate time. Words are powerfully sexy – start using them to your advantage. For me, there’s nothing sexier than a man who can woo you with both words and actions – someone who can make you dizzy with desire without even touching you. What’s more, a skilful lover who knows that his tongue is not just for licking and sucking – it’s also for talking ¬– establishing mutual trust, intimacy, honesty and desire. Now, that’s hot. Be open and emotionally available – allow yourself to experience true intimacy.
4. Don’t want no missionary man
Be open to trying new things – keep a healthy sexual curiosity intact and you’ll never be bored or boring in bed. If you keep trying the same sexual positions every time, and think you know it all, she’ll be wishing she was fast asleep instead. Be adventurous – never shame her (and yourself, by default) by saying: “You want me to do what?!” Be non-judgemental; if she really gets into it, chances are, you might too. Try having sex in the great outdoors; in every place and position imaginable. Hell, get a copy of the Kama Sutra – the world’s oldest and most famous sex manual – that shit never hurt anyone (just make sure you’re both fairly fit, first). Act out your respective sexual fantasies and role play the fuck out of each other, with your partner’s trust and consent, if you really want to spice things up and have her begging for more. Allow her space to grow and explore her own sexuality – she might surprise both herself and you. And guys, for God’s sake – don’t be afraid of sex toys – they are not a man replacement. Indeed, vibrators can improve your partner’s sexual experience, as well as your own. These days, awesome unisex vibrators are a thing, too – thank you, LELO.
5. Passion play 101
Truly masterful lovers know sex starts well before the bedroom – that sexy look you give her in the kitchen in the AM, the lingering kiss and squeeze at your morning kiss goodbye, that saucy backside slap, before she leaves. Build some momentum during the day, so she’s ready to rock’n’roll by the time she lays eyes on you at night. I’m a big fan of random acts of manly service and little kindnesses to keep the spark alive – no matter how big or small. You men are good at this – it’s often how you show your woman you deeply care. Don’t believe me? Sometimes, all a woman needs to get in a sexy mood is someone to show they truly care. Try it! So, go ahead and buy her flowers; clean her car without asking; empty the dishwasher; light some candles – whatever kind, caring and thoughtful gesture will lighten her load and have her ready for business time, before you even pour the wine. Now, there’s nothing left for you, but to make your big seduction move, or for her to pounce first. Enjoy, go hard.
23 comments
DDdelite
More than a month agoFavourite article ever!!!!.............Thank you so much Nicole!
ReplyAll men need to read this article. My favourite paragraph is the last one "passion play 101"..... That's me in a nutshell. I love dirty talk, the playfulness throughout the day, naughty texts of what your man wants to do to you that night.
If it's a casual FWB thing, I ask the guy to begin with those kinds of text messages or phone calls in the couple of days leading up to the hook up. If a man truly is good at what he does and wants & desires you and your pleasure, he will make that investment knowing he will be the one to reap the reward as well!
Nortygirl54
More than a month agoOMG I have to get my man to do some reading... He has selective hearing...can only hope his eyes are better & they are in sync with his head brain
Replybluebell43
More than a month agowow could do with something like that
ReplyTidyUnderpants
More than a month agoCooking a meal, cleaning up the kitchen and "house work" in general out is some of the greatest foreplay a man can execute.
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoYou've got that right! Good on you for knowing that. I mean that very much.
Icycupcake11
More than a month agoBut missionary is the best haha.
ReplyBut yes good article.
shellygurl1970
More than a month agoWhat a great article Nicole! As a cd,i like girls very much,but the pointers will be remembered if I get a chance to meet a lady here!
ReplyThanks for a great write!
xxx
northofthewall
More than a month agoAll true but... Been reading these all my life.
Here's the top 5 things men wish women knew about sex:
I really only have one erogenous zone.
Swallowing my semen makes me feel like a king.
A real quickie lasts 30 seconds, not 10 minutes.
There is nothing as erotic as a smooth pussy presented to me doggy style.
I love it when you refer to your delicate parts as "my cunt".
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoLooks like I know what men want ;)),
Account Closed
More than a month agoWell, in case you didn't notice, the blog is about what WOMEN wish MEN knew. Sigh - just another man who has NFI.
Account Closed
More than a month agoHappy you said it Leolady727.
nautycol
More than a month agoI guess Nicole has been around and I totally agree with her.
ReplyI enjoy finding all my ladies buttons and switching them on, that alone is a turn on for me. Watching a female wriggle, squirm, moan & groan on her way to orgasm really helps getting my rocks off.
One of my favourite songs is "to all the girls I've loved before". I can remember most of them as they have been beautiful people, and I'm glad they came through my door.
woweee69
More than a month agopoint two is what I like to deliver,,,very much so,,,mmmm
Replygood article,,,
Slimshaddy
More than a month agoGood article, especially the point of edging; Holding off on climaxing and making it a gradual release benafits both, us men are mostly hard wired the same way ; it doesnt help when your hard wired with alote of porn where the man keeps on jack hammering along,all five points I agree with. Women need Gradual stimulation, that starts out of the bedroom and eventually leads into.
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoI agree with you.
Gregltd
More than a month agoIt's a shame some men will just skip reading this article, it is so true.
ReplyPerhaps it should be left in the toilet for them to read in private.
My man does all these things for me and I never thought of these random acts a of kindness as being related to sexual.pleasure but just knowing they are is a turn on for me. He was reading over my shoulder, nibbling and kissing my neck. It's a pity we are in the doctors surgery all I would be naked and going for it here right now Time to go home.....
UsPlusUno
More than a month agoOut of the mouth of a babe that knows her stuff.
Thank you Nicole. Our men do need to read more about their ladies body, mind and how it all works. Its not about the quick bonk and its not just about her clit and vagina, its like a jigsaw puzzle. Engage her mind first, explore, then connect all the pieces together, that will certainly entice her back time and time again. From my experience, most men are unaware that they're selfish in bed as their testosterone takes over, whereas a women tends to explore their men as we're mostly carers and givers naturally.
Us ladies need to learn to speak up and verbalise what and how we would like our men to pleasure us, thus educate them along the way.
I have been blessed with the man I am with…engage, talk, explore, savour and have fun :) Its like eating in an classy expensive restaurant :) Enjoy beautiful people xx
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Replytrusted8
More than a month agoNicely expressed without any sarcasm intended. I was no different to most men, until I met a woman that adored me enough and explain all that was necessary to make her enjoy the experience more so each time we played together. So girls, take time out and show your men all that is needed to be a better lover. Guys, you will relish the knowledge and be a better person for it.
pony66666
More than a month agoNicole, you are so spot on in all your 5 topics. We men need to remind ourselves a woman's body is hardwired differently to ours and not only respect and embrace that but act upon it. I for one am always mindful of that and foreplay is as amazing in it self.
ReplyLeolady727
More than a month agoThis should be mandatory reading for all men, particularly point 1. Yes, guys, all women are different and like different types of stimulation. With the exception of ONE amazing man I know - who seems to be able to find any woman's' sweet spot - guys need to explore and, most importantly, TALK.
Replyblackvelvet58
More than a month agoThank you AMM this lady knows her stuff .I can relate to everything that's up there...excellent reading
ReplyFrankyJaye
More than a month agoAbsolutely the biggest turnon is a man that can communicate his sexual desires and fantasies outside the bedroom and as part of the sex act. The more it turns him on the more it turns me on. Love it.....
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ReplyAccount Closed
More than a month agoSure is a good article FJ...but a lot of times the better cake is the one made without a recipe....lol