Let’s talk about Penis Envy
We ask the hard questions about penis envy (pun intended)! Who coined the phrase? What does it mean? And is anyone actually envious of someone because of their penis?
Who coined the phrase Penis Envy?
The term “penis envy” was put forward by Sigmund Freud as part of his theory of psychosexual development. Basically he proposed that young girls feel deprived and envious that they don’t have a penis which later developed into the desire for access to a penis, and led to normal (according to Freud) heterosexual development. As a CIS gendered woman I can confidently tell you that I have never felt deprived because I have a vagina rather than a penis. I can’t claim credit for the shift against Freud’s model but I am not alone and the theory is now heavily criticised. Freud got a couple of other critical things wrong too, like privileging the vagina over the clitoris and implying that penile penetration defines a woman’s mature sexuality. I think lesbians might have a thing or two to say about that theory too.
What does Penis Envy mean today?
If the phrase is used today it’s likely to have nothing to do with an actual penis, but is used as a metaphor for issues such as gender inequality, the gender pay gap and the social power perceived to be unfairly accorded to men. Some feminists claim that the concept explains how, in a patriarchal society, women might envy the power accorded to those with a phallus. Now I don’t want to go all screechy feminist here, I am just trying to clarify why the term is occasionally thrown into a conversation or a newspaper article. So basically in modern terms it’s not actually talking about a penis, it’s more about how society views the owner of the penis in relation to his female counterparts.
What do research studies reveal about Penis Envy among men?
A number of research studies reveal that penis envy does exist, but it’s the penis owners wondering if their penis could look nicer, be shaped differently, or be bigger.
A 2017 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour surveyed over 4,000 men to find out how they felt about their junk, and how it influenced their sex lives. The study found:
- 64% were happy with the shape of their glans
- 27% were unhappy with length of their flaccid penis
- 19% were unhappy with their erect penis
- 15% were unhappy with the girth of their penis
- 14% said weren’t satisfied with their penises overall
That’s a massive number of unhappy penis owners.
Studies have shown that men who are dissatisfied with their penis reported a lower level of sexual activity with less vaginal sex and less received oral sex. And feelings of insecurity about the look of their penis ultimately led to anxiety which basically led to avoiding sex altogether.
As I don’t own a penis I can only comment on what I’ve read or been told which is that men do worry about being growers, about the length, the girth and of course their penis’s performance. That’s a lot of stress right there. And while women who are unhappy with their labia or their vaginal tightness have an option to reduce, refreshen or tighten their pink bits (although this is mostly unnecessary and brought about by insecurities about their own genitals), there are not a lot of options for men to enlarge or change their penis.
And then there are all those times men have to whip it out in public and potentially have someone else sneak a peek – public toilets, locker rooms, even swingers parties. I know men say they don’t look, but guys can you honestly say you’ve never once had the odd peek just to see how you rank in the gifted penis department? And don’t get me started about the photos comparing your penis beside a ruler, a can of coke or a Lynx deodorant can, or the comparison with pornstars and their enviable statistics. As I said earlier, men are under a lot of pressure.
Here's the good news!
It turns out there is a big discrepancy between men and women when it comes to the subject of “does size matter”.
For a start women consider penis size the 9th most important feature for a man, while men rate it much higher, in 3rd place. And a 2013 study at the Australian National University found that although women opted for a larger penis for casual encounters, they preferred an average penis for long term relationships. The same study also found that most Aussie men are happy with their penis size in relation to satisfying their sexual partner, and that a big penis did not make you more attractive. And strangely there is no evidence that women are envious for not owning a penis themselves.
So to all penis lovers, Eva Sless shared some fab advice in her article “Penis Appreciation Society”, “If you, like me, are a lover of men, and have men in your life whose penises you like, tell them!”
21 comments
Blue262
More than a month agoEver seen those ancient mounds of dirt people used to pile up, then live in little holes they dug in the side? They are to architecture what Freud is to psychotherapy: a good starting point that solved some problems, but primitive.
ReplyProtip: being able to cheerfully say "Never had any complaints" covers a lot of ground without impolitely killing mystery.
CUTETGURL
More than a month agoI have tits and pussy envy xxx Actually I have complete female envy xx
ReplyShhMarried
More than a month agoI was very shy as a young lad about my penis size, always though it was so small.
ReplyI went to my first Nude Bi Orgy (NBO) with a lady friend she was saying to me you will be ok wait until you see everyone else naked it will be different.
We all stripped off and looking around the different lengths thickness was amazing one was only 3 inches hard all the way to 10inches
By the end of the night I wasn’t ashamed of my penis and over the years I think I have had more positive comments than negative.
At the end of the day you are what you are and love what you have
Gingerman6969
More than a month agoInformative and interesting analysis of the term. Freud - an influential thinker of his time - but thankfully not all of his ideas remain valid. Thanks for sharing.
Replysurph71
More than a month agoA very well written 'Blog' for the perspective of a misandry. 'Let’s talk about Penis Envy' author - a female with possibly pseudo feminism tendencies not stated, however, the tones of feminism were felt whilst reading the abstract paragraph titled 'What does Penis Envy mean today?' The author was given free reign to critic 'Wage inequality between the sexes' whilst not screechy feminist here. Cheap shot - Wage inequality analysised from 1 dimension, totally illustrates a huge gap between Male Gross Salary vs Female Gross Salary - The bottom line. Here is what 2 dimensional analysis looks like: - Wage proportionate to Hours worked. 38 hours per week - 9am to 5am (8 hour day) versus a 38 hours per week - 3 x 12 hr shifts with 2 hours built in overtime - Shift workers receive penalty rates for working Night Shifts, Public Hours and weekends, whilst others are only prepared to work Monday to Friday. Ask what a Female Nurse on Shift gets inside a NSW hospital - 10 hr shifts vs a Male High School Teacher whom receives 12 weeks of paid annual leave - 7 hour shifts. Here is what 3D analysis of Wage Inequality looks like:- Is the worker prepared to Travel Greater than 100 km for their place of residency for work? Living Away from Home Allowance which is paid Tax Free. 4D Analysis of the Wage Inequality - How dangerous is the job? Ask a female soldier in the Australian Army on combat duties overseas - She is paid what she is worth. $250K (Combat allowance including Rank & File). 5D - 6D -10D - Ladies - don't like your wage - Demand More. Change your profession. If wage inequality truly exists beyond the 1 dimension which you focus on - Every employer in Australia would 'Sack every Aussie male and only employee women'. Business in Australia runs on profit and by employing 'Women Only' would save 15% of the wage bill for every company.
Back to Penis Envy - Why was the topic of Penis Envy written by a Woman? No male writers on staff? Author, I can not wait for nexts week's topic 'Womb Envy' written by a male staffer from AMM.
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ReplyLangie12
More than a month agoAhhhhh, OK. 🤔
KinkyGirl101
More than a month agoComments like this make it so easy to block!!
Account Closed
More than a month agoAnd thank God you’ve done it…
mandgee
More than a month agoSo many comments that one could make, but I'll settle for an old one: he knows "the price of everything, and the value of nothing".
Gingerman6969
More than a month agoGiven that women reading this invariably will make assumptions about the man behind the profile it's interesting that you choose to, I believe it's called, mansplain. LOL
Account Closed
More than a month agoMandgee, the plagiarism of the man whom provided you with a definition for sarcasm doesn’t mean you are gifted with wit. Madame M - please add colour to your retort from the likes of Wollstonecraft, Lorde or Woolf. Therefore, I shall not write anymore because nothing can improve on silence…
Account Closed
More than a month agoWomen of value know their worth as can be said for men of value. Virtue signallers on the other hand are concerned about their value so in turn try to appeal in other ways. Drink the kool aid agree with everything that is in vogue and maybe.....just maybe I'll get a BJ.......bahahha
I think you are correct in what you say and it doesn't make you a hater. We live in a democracy.....for now....so you're fully entitled to voice your opinion.
Let the haters hate
Wayno888
More than a month agoMy wife has far more orgasms through stimulation of her clitoris than penetration anyway, so I wouldn't go around worrying about size. A person with a good tongue is far more important!
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ReplyNotsonewnow
More than a month agoSooo true!
Sparkeyone
More than a month agoI'm not the smallest but not the biggest either. So my focus has always been on lots of yummy foreplay... Kissing stroking licking sucking ... Bring a woman to orgasim using your tongue n fingers then anything above that with ya penis is a bonus ... N hopefully a second orgasim
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ReplyStagDaddy
More than a month ago100% Mate
Hightimeforlove
More than a month agoIf you swing, you are bound to see some guys with bigger, some with smaller.
ReplyIt's no big deal.
As Dr Strangelove might say, stop worrying and love the dong lol.
Langie12
More than a month agoSo, "a massive number of unhappy penis owners" and then later "most Aussie men are happy with their penis size in relation to satisfying their sexual partner". While these comments may not be completely contradictory, the earlier stats suggest that 81% were happy with their erect penis and that 85% were happy with the girth of their penis.
ReplyAre men really under that much pressure? I'm "average", and average is open to a huge amount of interpretation, but am perfectly comfortable with who I am. Even if I wasn't theres not really anything I can do about it. Be happy with what you've got and ensure that you do your very best to get the most out of what you've got.
I honestly think those men that do obsessively worry about these things are probably wired to stress about things in general anyway.
I think the real take home message here is “If you are a lover of men, and have men in your life whose penises you like, tell them!". Mind you, the same should apply to men telling women how much they like them.
LeMelt
More than a month agoGoldicock ... not too big, not too small but just right!
ReplyExtra4322
More than a month agoI couldn’t see the point of penis comparisons at a public urinal. At these times, they are only being used to urinate through.
ReplyFuckudeep129
More than a month agoGreat article, i personally am quite happy with my penis, and don't envy someone's else's, it's how you use it i suppose, but some women prefer big some small, some long some fat, different strokes for different folks
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